Don't Leave Me Alone
by Icy.Myth
Summary: Tony has been avoiding Steve for the past month and he doesn't know why. It's hurting him, tearing him apart. The nightmares get worse and the panic attacks increase. When Captain friggin' America finally breaks, will Tony Stark be able to put him back together? Or is Steve Rigers broken beyond repeair?


**This is my first **_**Avengers **_**piece of work so I hope it's okay. This just came out of nowhere. I'm trying to use this to overcome my writers block from my other stories so… yeah sorry about that guys. This will probably only be two chapters long, maybe more if people really like it but probably just two chapters. Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

Steve was crying.

Yes. _Captain friggin' America_, unbreakable, a solid foundation that kept the team together, that was always so, so friggin' strong and together confident, was crying.

Some might ask why. The press would have a field day. He could see the headline now, 'Captain America, Not The Unshakeable Captain We Believed'. Swarmed with press, little kids, his fans, people that looked up to him, broken and wondering why they had ever looked up to such a _stupid, weak, pathetic _man who couldn't live up to all of the legends constantly surrounding him.

Others know why. The other Avengers know why _Captain friggin' America _would stare out to the horizon while he sat on the balcony of Stark Tower, alone, with a faraway, broken, kicked-puppy look on his face. They knew why he hid it every time he knew someone was watching him, but they never said anything. They knew there was nothing they could do about it so they just left it alone. They learned that the hard way.

One day Thor, poor, good unknowing Thor, tried to get Steve to talk about, but had only succeeded in making Steve grow more distant, refusing to answer any questions and frankly making all of the Avengers worry about their Captain's well-being. So they never brought it up again, and they watched as their Captain was slowly reduced into a shell of his normal self, and this time, they were positive it had nothing to do with his past.

But to put it simply, Steve just missed the warm body that had always been pressed up against his chest. He missed the comforting weight in his arm. He missed waking up to the smell of coffee and oil and grease. He missed the goodnight kisses, the burnt, but well-intentioned breakfasts. He missed the soothing voice that would calm him after a nightmare then sing softly to him until he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. He missed the hand that would run through his golden locks to wake him up.

He missed _Tony_.

He hated waking up in a cold bed, all alone after another nightmare. The cold just made it worse; the nightmares became more frequent, tearing him from the inside out. He could still hear the gunshots of the battlefield when he woke up. The cries of agony from the soldiers he lost. The sweet, sobbing voice of Peggy in those last moments after he crashed and before he succumbed to the icy darkness. The crash from the ship. Bucky's scream echoing in his ears.

But Tony wasn't there anymore. So now Steve has had too many sleepless nights staying awake to keep the nightmares away, and clinging to the hope that maybe tonight he'll come to bed. Maybe tonight he won't be Iron Man and he won't be Stark and he'll be Tony. _Steve's_ Tony.

But every night it's always the same and sometimes Steve makes it through the night and sometimes he doesn't and succumbs to the nightmares that _destroy him _because they know that Tony isn't there to put him back together when he wakes up.

And it _kills_ him.

So that's why Steve, _Captain friggin' America_, was crying his eyes out in his room. Because it would be too undignified and alarming if the others were to find out so he had just locked the door because he couldn't let the others see his moment of weakness. He was their Captain! He was never supposed to break down like this. But he could almost hear Tony's voice whispering to him that he was, in fact, Steve Rogers first then Captain America and soldier Steve Rogers was allowed to break down.

So he did.

For the first time in three months Steve had a total meltdown. He knew that everyone could hear him, but he also knew they wouldn't come in, that this was something he needed and he needed to get out of his system.

Steve went down to the gym and locked it. He couldn't deal with this anymore. He wasn't sobbing anymore, but he could feel the tears still trickling down his face. He didn't bother with the bandages; he just went to the nearest punching bag and started hitting it with all he had. Flashes of memories between him and Tony flew threw his head while he took his anger out on the bag,

_Steve felt something inside of him break as he watched Bucky fall… fall.. fall… His hand was still out-stretched, and his mind was in a state of denial and shock. The cold wind whipped his face, but he couldn't hear anything else besides Bucky's scream echoing in his ears._

_Unshed tears burned behind his eyes as he slowly closed them and pressed his face against his arm. He could hear the accusing voice of Bucky. He should have been faster. He should have been stronger. If he had only taken down that stupid guy quicker. _

A strangled yell escaped Steve's lips and the next punch he delivered to the poor punching bag sent it flying into the wall. He wasted no time in getting another one, hanging it up and having at it again.

_Steve gasped, waking up in a cold sweat and shaking so hard his teeth were chattering. His mind was in a haze of panic and terror and it took a minute before he heard someone calling his name. "..eve? St..e." He felt warm, calloused hands on his cheeks and they gently turned his head to the left._

_Warm chocolate eyes cobalt blue eyes and Steve let out a shaky breath. "T-Tony…" Tony didn't say anything, he never did. Tony wasn't good with feelings and talking about them and Steve was perfectly okay with that. He was Steve's rock, silent support to help him through his night terrors and panic attacks and all the other shit PTSD brought with it._

_The billionaire wrapped his arms around Steve, to which the younger man (depending on how you look at it) buried his head in the crook of his neck. He breathed in deeply, smelling the grease, oil, coffee, and the musk that makes him so _Tony. _He feels his hands run through his golden locks, listening as the man of iron with a soft heart hums a tune that slowly turns into soft singing to get Steve to calm down._

_His shaking slowly subsides and Steve doesn't know how long it took him to completely calm down and feel the exhaustion settle deep into his bones (it could have been seconds or hours). But not once did Tony's grip falter or did his singing stop as he slowly lulled Steve into a deep, undisturbed sleep._

Steve's hair was plastered to his forehead from the sweat dripping down his face. He couldn't distinguish his tears from the sweat right and _why is this room so damn hot._ He angrily tore off his shirt and felt much better, and then as he continued his assault on the punching bag, he realized he couldn't hear the familiar clanking of his dog tags which just made him angrier.

_It was early in the morning and Steve had awoken with Tony pressed against his chest and in his arms. A soft smile spread across his face and he knew if Tony was awake he would tease him for being all lovey-dovey and Steve would shut him up with a kiss, maybe tease him a little bit if he felt like before leaving to get breakfast ready and leaving a whining Tony behind in the bed._

_But Tony wasn't awake, which was exactly why Steve had woken up this earlier in the first place. He wanted it to be a surprise when the billionaire woke up. Carefully, he grabbed his dog tags from the table near the bed and somehow managed to put the chain around Tony's neck without him waking up._

_A few hours later, when Steve was fixing breakfast in the kitchen and the other Avengers around the table, chatting and waiting for him to finish, Tony came down and walked over to him. If the kiss seemed a little longer than usual, Steve didn't comment. If Tony's teasing about him being a romantic increased, he didn't care because tony smiled so much that day Steve felt like, what was that saying, that he was on Cloud 9._

A sob escaped his mouth and his beatings against the punching bag became rougher and he found himself having to hang another one, brushing his hair out of his face again before he let out at it.

_Steve had immediately rejected the gift, telling Tony that it was way too expensive and that he shouldn't have spent it on him because he didn't deserve it. Tony promptly shut him up with a very heated kiss and forced him to wear the expensive watch that was old, and worn, but just like the one he always used to have with him. He had stared longingly at whenever he passed the store when he explored the city, but always when he was alone because he knew something like this was going to happen._

He could numbly feel his Knuckles starting to blister as he destroyed yet another punching bag, and moved onto his (fourth? Fifth? Sixth? He didn't know. He wasn't keeping track anymore).

_Steve lay alone in their bed, waiting for Tony come in and lay next to him. They had been dating for six months, and it had become something of a routine now. He had waited until one in the morning, before his body betrayed him and he fell asleep. The nightmares were worse that night then they had been in months. He woke him screaming, tears streaming down his face and feeling so, so cold. He blindly felt around for Tony, only to realize he still wasn't in the bed, and normally he wouldn't have freaked out but he was still messed up from the nightmare and he cried harder. Eventually he cried himself to sleep, falling into another nightmare, one about Tony pushing him away and telling him to leave._

_That next morning Tony more than made up for it, or at least that was what Steve continually tried to keep telling himself._

Steve heard another scream tear itself from his throat, and he could see the blood on the punching bags now, and he knew he should stop before he breaks something, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

_It started happening more and more often. He would be gone all night, then try and make up for it in the morning. Then the last month it started to seem like tony was purposely avoiding him. He never saw him at night, or during the day and the nightmares kept getting worse, the panic attacks more often but no one could do anything but Tony was the only one that could calm him down but Tony was never around anymore and it was destroying Steve._

_So earlier that day he had gone down to Tony's lab and hesitantly knocked on the door. "Tony?" He waited but didn't get an answer. "Please, I know you're in there. I've been wondering where you've been. JARVIS tells me to have patience, and I'm… trying to. I'm right here for you." He pressed his forehead against the door, holding back the tears burning behind his eyes. "Just let me in." He took a deep breath, listening but still getting no answer. "Please, we only have each other. It's just you and me." Steve knew Tony trusted no one else with his secrets, besides maybe JARVIS and Pepper, and Steve thought of the Avengers as family, but he would never tell them about his weaknesses. "What are gonna do? Will you please come out and talk to me? We don't have to talk, just please come out."_

"_I regret to inform you, Captain, but Mr. Stark would not wish to be bothered right now." JARVIS' voice came from above and spoke with regret, or at least, Steve thought he would have if he was capable of emotion. _

_Steve cast a hurt and longing look at the door, wanting nothing more than to just smash in and kiss Tony until he passed out. "Okay.. Bye…"_

It was his seventh (or was it his eighth?) punching bag when he finally collapsed on the ground, sobs racking his body as the memory of what happened a few hours ago went through his head. He could feel the warm and sticky blood on his hands, but ignored it. He was Captain friggin' America. He would heal.

His body froze when he heard the doors slam open, and someone rush over to him. He tried to ignore the strangled gasp that came from whoever it was, and tried so very hard to ignore the voice of the one person he was in love with. "Oh Steve…"

**Hehe… Yeah… anyone catch that thing at the end ;) if you caught it you'll know what I'm talking about. I swear id didn't mean for that to happen. It just kinda… came out while I was writing. Anyway, thoughts? Review!**


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